Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Where's The Cat?

Yesterday, we had an interesting and bizarre set of ADHD circumstances that I thought I'd share.

I came home from work, and on the way, picked up dinner for the family - PapaJohn's pizza and some 2-liter drinks. I was tired, and I have a laptop and case to carry in, usually stuffed with papers, camera, and various projects.

So I decided not to carry all the food in, but instead send the kids out to get it. After all, they were hungry, right?


So I stumbled in the dark into the house and told the kids to go get the food in the van. Kissed my lovely wife, and set my heavy laptop case in the corner. I could hear my teen son playing the piano in the other room, another videogame sonata.

Teen daughter was yabbering on the cordless phone to one of her many friends. My 5yo son seemed more interested in his Webkins Hamster. Yes, the Webkins now have taken over Habitrail, it's all digital.

So, I hollered a little louder to go get the food from the van, and collapsed in an easy chair, the king's throne (every home has one of these, I'm sure.) Closed my eyes and relaxed. After several minutes, I noticed I still heard yabbering, story-telling, hamster-playing, and Final Fantasy 27.5 Notoki No Papaya, or Don't Touch My Fruit.

So, I hollered a great deal louder, scaring cats, dog, and children with the bellowing bull voice. Or the Voice of Doom. Whatever you want to call it. Finally got the kids rousted to run out and grab the food. We all ate at the dinner table, then the wife and I ran out to get our 21yo daughter from college.

I noticed the ADD kids had left the sliding van door ajar, so I slammed it closed and we went and got the dear daughter.

This morning, I went through my usual routine, stumble downstairs, start coffee, let cat in, let dog out. Only, no cat. Cat didn't come in. But cat ALWAYS comes in. And he's a loudmouth.

Side note, don't ever, ever, EVER get a siamese cat. Or one that looks like one. Or one that had Siamese up to six generations back. Or move next to me if you have one. Because they are loud. Insistent. Obnoxious. Persistent.

Only, today, no cat.

Normally, I wouldn't care. He's a happy cat, if loud, takes care of himself, and sometimes dear daughter locks him in her room so that he'll be forced to spend the night with her. He's her pet, but he doesn't seem to know it.

Anyway, I called the kids to come down for bible. No cat. I opened the front door again, no cat.

I remembered that we have some big neighborhood dogs that sometimes get loose. The kind of big dogs that eat little loudmouth cats. So, I prepped myself to give dear daughter THE SPEECH. But I decided to wait 24 hours before filing a missing cat APB. After all, that's what the police do too, right?


So after bible, I head to my van to drive to work. And this is what I see:

The combination of the ADD kids, the neighborhood dogs, and the ADD dad, conspired to trap the poor loudmouth in my van. All night.

And without a litterbox, too!

Poor baby. Him just couldn't help himself, and now the ADD Dad is driving with the windows down, and not just because his A/C in the Van went south again.


I know you're wondering, if you even read this far, how I can possibly pull this around to a spiritual lesson.

Well, never fear. Looking at the cat in my van, I was reminded of a verse:

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. - 1Cor 10:13

And I'll try to remember that everytime I get in my van, from now on, at least until the... memory... of the cat's night in the van fades.


  1. Okay, I'm rolling on the floor here, because being ADHD I can SOOO imagine this!! Too funny, Chris!

  2. I love the fact that instead of screeching OMG, Cat! as you yanked open the door, you stopped and took a picture of the world's most annoyed yowler. Obviously a blogger at heart. Great shot, hysterical post.

  3. The funniest thing about this, my wife reminded me, is that when I let the cat out, I came into the house 'loaded for bear' - 'What IDIOT locked the cat in the van all night!?'

    My wife said, 'I think it was you, dear.' She had enough restraint to not let me know I just called myself an idiot. The inner voice did a good job of that, though.

    I had one of those flashback visions... Oh, yeah, the sliding van door.

    God puts some interesting stories in my lap, Ramona and Ane. I don't even have to leave my yard to get them, either. :-)

  4. Hilarious!

    As to getting the smell out - try white vinegar on the places with offending odors. If that doesn't work, use a borax (Twenty Mule Team will do) and water solution to blot it.

    Good luck!

  5. This is hysterical! Thanks for sending me the link, Chris. Enjoyed this very much. :-)

  6. Great blog Chris!! I'm glad the cat's okay (extreme cat lover here :-)